Yes, it does provide useful information, but I am not sure about the end part, I hope you don't mind me saying this but it sounds a bit desperate. The best person to promote your leaf is you, if you have accounts like Facebook, Twitter, Google plus or a blog you can leave links to your leaf there. Maybe you could add an Amazon section recommending some books etc, you can earn some commission through any sales.
Thanks for your feedback. I was trying to be funny with The End bit but reading it today, I have to agree with you!! I've edited it, so I think it looks better now.
You're welcome, perhaps you could upload an picture on your bio, you could use an avatar if you like. It will personalise your leaf; readers like to see who is writing the article.
I'm glad you stopped by for some advice. This is really a great place to learn the ropes from people who know how to write an outstanding leaf, like Paz.
My first impression on the leaf was that the wording in the intro lacked a little bit of confidence in what you were writing about. Here's what I mean. This sentence: "What I hope to show you here are some practical tips which..." would be better if rephrased as something like "On this leaf, I will show you some practical tips which...."
Words like "hope" and "obviously" can be omitted in favor of more confident sounding words.
The second section, titled "Price" could be a bit more specific in the title. "Negotiating a price," "How to get the best price for a vehicle," or "How to not overpay for your new car" are all more specific titles that may give a clearer picture of what content lies in the section below.
When there are big blocks of text, I also tend to break it up with the use of bullets or ordered lists. Photos can also help break up the blocks and make the text easier for scanning.
"The Reliability" section. The subtitle asks the question "do you want your car to be reliable?" I feel there may be better questions to ask, as well as the title of the section. What if it were "How to buy a reliable car without getting ripped off," or something much more specific? This way, it really will tell the reader more about the content below the title.
"The End" section. Could there be a better way to conclude the leaf that would end on a note that would encourage the reader to A) ask a question, or B) head to other resources on this topic?
I also think the leaf could benefit from the use of other sections to add more content. YouTube and Flickr should have mounds of content to enhance your leaf. The Black Box is also a good way to highlight a very important point, and great when used in between text sections.
227 forum posts
Yes, it does provide useful information, but I am not sure about the end part, I hope you don't mind me saying this but it sounds a bit desperate. The best person to promote your leaf is you, if you have accounts like Facebook, Twitter, Google plus or a blog you can leave links to your leaf there. Maybe you could add an Amazon section recommending some books etc, you can earn some commission through any sales.
Good luck with your leaf.
5 forum posts
Hi,
Thanks for your feedback. I was trying to be funny with The End bit but reading it today, I have to agree with you!! I've edited it, so I think it looks better now.
Thanks again.
227 forum posts
You're welcome, perhaps you could upload an picture on your bio, you could use an avatar if you like. It will personalise your leaf; readers like to see who is writing the article.
1772 forum posts
Hi Autonut,
I'm glad you stopped by for some advice. This is really a great place to learn the ropes from people who know how to write an outstanding leaf, like Paz.
My first impression on the leaf was that the wording in the intro lacked a little bit of confidence in what you were writing about. Here's what I mean. This sentence: "What I hope to show you here are some practical tips which..." would be better if rephrased as something like "On this leaf, I will show you some practical tips which...."
Words like "hope" and "obviously" can be omitted in favor of more confident sounding words.
The second section, titled "Price" could be a bit more specific in the title. "Negotiating a price," "How to get the best price for a vehicle," or "How to not overpay for your new car" are all more specific titles that may give a clearer picture of what content lies in the section below.
When there are big blocks of text, I also tend to break it up with the use of bullets or ordered lists. Photos can also help break up the blocks and make the text easier for scanning.
"The Reliability" section. The subtitle asks the question "do you want your car to be reliable?" I feel there may be better questions to ask, as well as the title of the section. What if it were "How to buy a reliable car without getting ripped off," or something much more specific? This way, it really will tell the reader more about the content below the title.
"The End" section. Could there be a better way to conclude the leaf that would end on a note that would encourage the reader to A) ask a question, or B) head to other resources on this topic?
I also think the leaf could benefit from the use of other sections to add more content. YouTube and Flickr should have mounds of content to enhance your leaf. The Black Box is also a good way to highlight a very important point, and great when used in between text sections.
I hope all of this helps. Keep at it!
227 forum posts
Thanks for the compliment Bill.
5 forum posts
Hi Bill,
WOW! Great advice, thanks :)
I've edited the leaf and it looks much better now.
Thanks again.